if you’re having a bad day just think at least you’re not this girl…
Okay never say that period pains aren’t that bad because one time I had an ovarian cyst that burst before they found it, and when the doctor saw how big it was, he asked me, “How were you not screaming in pain?”
And my response was, “Oh, I thought they were just cramps.”
Bless the Sultan
The fact that that was the thing that pulled the Sultan out of his trance.
me: hi how are you today?
customer: JUST LOOKING.
it aint real fanfiction unless their tongues battled for dominance
or someone let out a breath they didn’t know they’d been holding.
or their lips crashed together.
or he pushed her against the wall
johnny depp is me
Friendly reminder that yesterday when my mom took me to Walmart she left me alone in the toilet paper section and this guy started hitting on me and I said “Sorry, I’m a lesbian.” and he was like “Oh my god I’m so sorry I thought you were a boy.”
Soda just spewed out my nose
THAT WAS A PLOT TWIST
Where are his parents